The pain, torture and anguish. Long days and sleepless nights filled with promiscuity. Yet you’re still my run away lover.
I call you a coward because you gave me no closure. It hurts… How do you just walk away like a thief in the night? Walk away from your home… a home we built together! You handpicked all the interior construction materials. I guess you don’t remember anymore. I look at the kitchen counter and remember how excited and confused you were as we went from one store to the other looking for the exact porcelain and quartz counter tops you had envisioned. Didn’t you stop for a second to think of how this would affect my life? The toll it would have on me? After 5 years of everyday life together? You disappoint me my lover.
Is it because of our cancelled wedding due to my cold feet at the eleventh hour, the cancelled vacations or the times I spent with the boys over the weekends and not at home with you? My long working hours maybe?
I’m full of regrets but I must say I wasn’t ready. I found in you the answers I never thought to ask, but was that worth a lifetime’s commitment? I did you bad, I know… but I always kept it real with you. You always knew my stand on marriage and such traditions.
You said your clock was ticking… So was mine! Why did you listen to what your girls and the society had to say? We had our own plans and we promised to live by our own rules. Why did you change? I wanted to give you my all but maybe deep down I knew you deserved better. With your hourglass silhouette, wit and brains… you definitely did!
The gods of my ancestors know how much I adore you. I would do anything humanly possible for you except of course committing to you in marriage before God and our families.
See, I’m not a creature of habit. I hate rules and being tied down has never been my forte. I wanted both of us to have the freedom to live our lives without feeling inclined to making constant compromises and sacrifices. I wanted us to make my fantasy our reality. But as they say, the fantasy world is just that… fantasy, maybe fun to see. Fantastic!
Sweet is love… but love is tough. You’re spending your nights in another’s arms and that’s a bile I painfully swallow. I look at you together and see how mediocre you look. He doesn’t deserve you my darling. It’s safe to say neither do I! At least I’m the devil you know.
Was it because of loneliness? Why did you jump a ship that could only land you on an altar? Is that all you want for your life? A white costume in the name of a dress? Millions and millions of hard-earned money for just a day’s show? Don’t you know there’s more to life than having a man’s last name? You disappoint me my love, but that’s what I get for trying to be different… disappointments!
I can spend the rest of my life wallowing in sadness, depression even. But I leave all that to you when reality beckons and you get to face facts. I was and will forever be the man for you my sweet girl. Don’t get me wrong, I care so much about you and wish you well always.
I’m only one call away and I’m no superhero but for you my run-away lover, I’m willing to go all the way to save the day. I haven’t changed, I’m still a man of my words. So believe me when I say I’m willing to adjust my ways for you and our future together.
Don’t bury the memories you made with me. The blue ticks game is not fun anymore. Actually it’s growing old and boring. You’re a strong ambitious woman, just answer my questions and tell me you don’t need me anymore. I promise to let go if only I can get closure from you. Is that asking for too much?
The locks to our house are still the same. Do you still have your keys? In fact, I got the construction company to redo the bedroom windows as you’d always wanted; large exquisite corner windows with no visible frames, panoramic views, lots of natural light and aesthetic appeal. Everything is so different without you my love… please come back home. Home is here, where your man is!